In Grief: Death That Brings Relief

Man cannot possess anything as long as he fears death. But to him who does not fear it, everything belongs.  ~ Leo Tolstoy

For those who endure chronic pain, terminal illness, or the slow decay of degenerative conditions, death can arrive not as a feared end but as a quiet release. It is the cessation of agony, the end of a long battle fought with dwindling strength.

For the grieving, death may bring relief in a different way. Watching a loved one suffer can be an unbearable burden, and though loss is painful, there is solace in knowing their suffering has ended. In such moments, death can be seen not as the villain but as a merciful hand, granting rest to those who have endured more than their share of hardship.

To help navigate the emotions and existential questions that may arise under such challenging circumstances, the following resources are suggested:

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 2 - March 22, 2025

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this month:

Grief can hit us in powerful and unanticipated ways. You might expect to grieve a person, a pet or even a former version of yourself – but many people are surprised by the depth of sad yearning they can feel after selling the childhood home. In fact, it is normal to grieve a place. And this grief can be especially profound if it coincides with a parent dying or moving into residential aged care, leading to the sale of their house. Why do I grieve my childhood home so much now we’ve sold it? And what can I do about it? « The Conversation

In Grief: Offering Survivor Support to Insurance Beneficiaries

Since the 17th century, insurance agents have been the foremost experts on risk.  ~ Charles Duhigg

An insurance representative writes: So nice having dinner with you the other night. I'm writing to thank you for sharing with me a copy of your book, Finding Your Way Through Grief: A Guide for the First Year. You may not believe this, but I read the entire book on the plane coming home Sunday. I found so many situations that I have seen in real life doing "Survivor Support" counseling, that I couldn't put the book down. I think it would be a most appropriate reading for 90% of my clients.

Here are some random thoughts in no particular order which I made notes about while reading:

In Grief: Trying to Forget Mum's Passing

Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met.  ~ Unknown

A reader writes: It's been a week since the fifth anniversary of my Mum's passing. Since then, I have found that I'm trying to forget about it. Putting it to the back of my mind and hoping it doesn't appear in a conversation. Is that wrong? It’s also been six months since I visited the cemetery, but it's not because I find it hard to go there, I suppose I feel that it's not important to. Is that wrong?

Using Avoidance or Denial to Cope with Loss

Denial helps us to pace our feelings of grief. There is a grace in denial. It is nature's way of letting in only as much as we can handle. ~ Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

A reader writes: I feel extremely depressed. My father, who is my best friend and closest person to me, passed away. Ever since I was little, I was always afraid he'd be taken away from me; he and I were very close, and he was the best father any person could ask for. He's the type of father who'd drive you around town for hours when you needed some last minute item for your school project that's due the next day. He's the type of father who will buy your favorite foods and secretly put it in your fridge. He's the type of father who will drop everything to listen when you're having a problem. We hugged each other every day, and I always told him I loved him. Why did this happen? I must be such a horrible person to be punished in this way.

Understanding and Managing Grief, February 16 - March 1, 2025

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week: 

Every year, Hillsdale students bury parents, siblings, or best friends. Every year, Hillsdale students suffer devastating mental or physical health crises. Every year, Hillsdale students endure divorce or serious family discord. And if they’re bold enough to share the struggles, they most often receive pity or polite silence: two poor substitutes for real empathy. We can do better. In a largely Christian environment, we have the tools and tradition at our disposal to better accompany those teammates, classmates, and friends who are grieving. First, though, we must open our hearts. After Eden: Embrace Grief « Hillsdale Collegian

Struggling With Acceptance and "Letting Go" in Grief

The beautiful journey of today can only begin when we learn to let go of yesterday.  ~ Steve Maraboli

A reader writes: I send you a letter, asking for guidance and help, my father passed away two months ago, and it's very hard to accept that he is gone, my mom is angry and sad, can you help us.

Using Alternative Healing in Grief

A wise man ought to realize that health is his most valuable possession. ~ Hippocrates

Alternative healing refers to a broad range of medical practices and therapies that are used instead of conventional (mainstream) medicine. These treatments are often based on cultural traditions, holistic approaches, or natural remedies. While some alternative therapies have scientific support, many lack rigorous clinical testing to confirm their effectiveness. Still, alternative therapies can be valuable tools for coping with grief by offering holistic approaches that address emotional, physical, and spiritual healing. 

Alternative therapies that may help during the grieving process include the following:

Understanding and Managing Grief, February 9 - February 15, 2025

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week: 

While there's no single right way to navigate loss, for many, having support from others can make the grieving process a bit easier, research shows. A 2020 review analyzed over a dozen studies on bereavement groups for grief and depression symptoms. The findings showed that bereavement groups were slightly more effective than control groups immediately after treatment, meaning they provided some short-term relief for grief and depression symptoms. Group support might help you cope with grief, data shows « Cheny Free Press

In Grief: "Time For Me to Write My Experiences"

We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect. ~ Anaïs Nin

A reader writes: I'm not sure what I'm writing here..but felt compelled to say something.  I have been on a horrendous journey since my husband died 4 yrs ago.  Every trauma has hit the children and me.....tonight my son aged 13 who is very ill came to my bed.....he couldn't sleep and was in terrible pain...I don't know how or why..but for the second time over the past few years I did hands-on healing on his stomach....which was an incredible experience for him and me...and that resulted in our best chat together in four years, and he fell asleep.....all I realized was that I had not protected myself from taking his pain....and I became acutely aware of some "talents" that I have........I rushed downstairs and searched the Net, to find information on healing....and then psychic surgery...and then somehow I got to your site!!!